On June 30th I saw The Devil Wears Prada and thus hit the half way point for my movie watching goal. I, for those who don't know made a New Year's Resolution to see 100 movies in the theater in the year 2006. Yes I know in terms of a resolution it could have been a lot better. But last year I hit 85 and it irked me that I was so close to 100. So on June 30th I had officially seen 50 movies or half my goal at the half way point. Since then I have seen two more so only 48 to go. Here for no reason other than to procrastinate is every movie I've seen with a one line (or as close to one line as I can manage) review of those movies in chronological order.
01. January 05: The Producers - An uninspiring remake with songs (I hate musicals).
02. January 07: Bloodrayne - Uwe Boll badly adapts yet another video game into a movie.
03. January 08: Rumor Has It - An ultimately disappointing comedy playing off the Graduate plot.
04. January 15: Hostel - Gruesome and mindless slasheresque film that exploits and didn't need to be made.
05. January 20: Underworld:Evolution - A pointless sequel to a pointless original movie, Kate Beckinsale in leather does not a good movie make.
06. January 21: The New World - Terrence Malick takes his love of the noble savage to nauseating new heights in a long but visually wonderful retelling of the Pocahontas tale.
07. January 22: Hoodwinked - A surprisingly clever animated film (and I generally don't like animated films).
08. January 25: Brokeback Mountain - A decent character driven drama that doesn't live up to the hype but still is worth watching.
09. January 27: Match Point - Woody Allen pulls off an amazing thriller with excellent performances.
10. February 02: Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World - Mildly amusing Albert Brooks film, he's done better.
11. February 05: The Matador - Pleasant dark comedy with Pierce Brosnan breaking free from his James Bond image.
12. February 11: Mrs. Henderson Presents - Charming comedy about a nude review in WW2 England with delightful performances by Bob Hoskins and Judi Dench.
13. February 12: Transamerica - Felicity Huffman is amazing as a pre-op transgender person struggling with the fact that she has a son she just found out about.
14. February 13: Final Destination 3 - Even by the Final Destination series standard this isn't a good movie.
15. February 17: Date Movie - Desperately unfunny, would someone let the parody film die.
16. February 23: Capote - Interesting character study of Truman Capote brilliantly played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
17. February 24: The Three Burials Of Melquiades Estrada - A well done Western themed tale with cheers for Tommy Lee Jones for directing and acting in it.
18. March 04: Night Watch - disappointing muddled genre movie from Russia.
19. March 04: Ultraviolet - Ridiculously bad futuristic vampire film.
20. March 05: 16 Blocks - Standard buddy flick material but with decent performances from Mos Def and Bruce Willis.
21. March 10: Failure To Launch - Nauseating romantic comedy that wasn't funny or terribly romantic.
22. March 11: The Libertine - Johnny Depp being eccentric in an eccentric film but one that doesn't entertain.
23. March 20: V For Vendetta - Stupid and boring comic book adaptation that attempts to play on the current fears of the public.
24. March 25: Inside Man - A Spike Lee film that falls short by being a bit too predictable and unoriginal.
25. April 01: Slither - A Comedic Horror film that tries very hard but doesn't succeed at either genre.
26. April 05: Stay Alive - A stupid movie.
27. April 07: Lucky Number Slevin - A film that reveals it's hand in the first scene but is still surprisingly enjoyable to watch unfold with great over the top performances by Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman.
28. April 09: Thank You For Smoking - A clever satire of Big Tobacco and Washington DC politics held together by the delightful Aaron Eckhart.
29. April 22: American Dreamz - A satire that fails miserably.
30. April 23: Silent Hill - Yet another video game turned movie and this one fails even without Uwe Boll at the helm.
31. April 24: The Sentinel - Fairly predictable but decently put together thriller that entertains enough.
32. April 28: Stick It - God awful gymnastics movie trying to be "Bring It On" and failing.
33. May 05: Mission Impossible III - The summer movie season began with this boring third in the franchise with uninspiring performances by Tom Cruise et al.
34. May 07: Don't Come Knocking - Charming character driven film about a tired old actor trying to figure out his life.
35. May 15: Poseidon - Uninspiring remake with a plot so predictable that I knew who would be dead by movie's end after the characters were introduced.
36. May 21: The Da Vinci Code - A boring thriller that is paced horribly.
37. May 26: X-Men: The Last Stand - A travesty of a film that doesn't even have the guts to follow through with its own sequence of events.
38. May 28: See No Evil - Sometimes nothing else is out and you need a movie to keep you moving towards your goal, this happens more often than I wish it would.
39. June 01: Brick - A movie like this makes suffering through a movie like "See No Evil" worth it.
40. June 02: The Break Up - Not dark enough for the subject matter and certainly not funny.
41. June 07: The Omen - I think this movie was remade solely because its release date (6/6/06) made such good marketing sense and it shows.
42. June 11: A Prairie Home Companion - Typical Altman style with a plot that isn't interesting.
43. June 12: Down In The Valley - I like that indy films tend to go away from the standard Hollywood conventions but that doesn't mean they are automatically good as this film demonstrates.
44. June 15: On A Clear Day - A film that attempt to be the charming tale of a man in mid life crisis, but it just felt uninspiring.
45. June 16: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift - Fast cars and fancy driving don't rescue the idiotic plot.
46. June 21: Nacho Libre - Sometimes you are so close to your goal and even though you wouldn't normally let yourself be dragged to crap like this you go just to get you closer to your goal.
47. June 24: Click - "It's A Wonderful Life" this is not but it still had its moments.
48. June 25: The Proposition - Falls flat for me but does make me want to see a better Western set in Australia.
49. June 27: Superman Returns - Nice summer popcorn flick and a nice homage to the original Superman films.
50. June 30: The Devil Wears Prada - Okay if a bit after school special-esque comedic drama.
My responses (for the few of these films I've seen):
ReplyDelete1. Bloodrayne
I'll describe it like this: it is Uwe Boll's best videogame adaptation, and it is one of the more pathetic smears on the resume of Michael Pare.
2. Underworld: Evolution
Easy on the eyes, torture to the brain.
3. Ultraviolet
So very pretty, and so unbelievably stupid. I own it, of course, because ever since The Fifth Element I am required by my libido to purchase any movie where Milla Jovovich brandishes heavy firearms while wearing skin-tight clothing.
4. Silent Hill
I am one of 72 people in the entire world who really liked this movie. It was exactly like I wanted it to be.
5. Poseidon
I enjoyed it for what it was. It was a fine popcorn action vehicle that was enaging while I watched it and forgotten by the time I got home afterwards.
6. Superman Returns
Fits right in with the original movies (the first two, that is). I enjoyed it, but I was not greatly moved nor overly impressed. Just entertained.
I love how in #46 you say "you wouldn't normally be dragged to something like this", after having already seen Bloodrayne, Final Destination 3, Failure to Launch, Stick It, and Tokyo Drift.
ReplyDeleteCompared to those, I think a Jack Black movie has a lot of promise. Not that I saw any of them.