Lady In The Water

M. Night Shyamalan has been trying to perfect self indulgent tripe for some time now. He has finally succeeded in the agonizingly bad Lady In The Water. When I wasn't pinching myself to keep from falling asleep during this movie, I was contemplating slitting my wrists and ending the agony. Everything about this film was annoying.

The film begins with our introduction to "The Cove" an apartment complex whose superintendent is Cleveland Heap (Paul Giamatti). Cleveland is a stuttering nice guy who is seen interacting with all the major players of the film. These include a bizarre guy who only works out one side of his body, a room full of drug using hippies and an incredibly offensive stereotype Asian mother and daughter.

Story (Bryce Dallas Howard) is introduced as a mystical water creature who has come to view an important man who's work will one day change the world. Of course it is a writer of and *spoiler warning* although not really the writer is played by the director of the film. *end spoiler*

There is also an arrogant movie critic who gets a violent death. Why? Because clearly movie critics can't possibly be right that a film is bad. This movie is so generic and pounds home its sentimental moral. Apparently the whole story originated as a bedtime story for his kids. Which makes me wonder what kind of kid would find a story this self indulgent and blatantly symbolic interesting.

I understand that by their nature fairy tales are formulaic. But you could take any one of the Grimm fairy tales and make it into a better movie than this. Was the acting okay? It was decent except for the terrible director. I feel like Shyamalan has figured himself a new Kubrick who can make crazy out of left field movies against the Hollywood model. The difference being that Kubrick had talent.