Movie Idiot pretends to be Trailer Guy and Fails

Drive Angry - Holy hell. Pun intended. When a friend first told me about this preview I sort of laughed and cringed at the absurdity of the whole thing. Then I actually watched it. If you can get past the first voice over and not want to immediately see this film then something is wrong with you. No its not good, its just so bad it will have to be good right? There is something oddly right and fitting about William Fichtner playing Death (or the Accountant as he's called), kind of like when i first heard that Peter Stromare was cast as Satan in Constantine. Oh and Amber Heard is pleasant to look at:




Real Steel - Who? Why? How? Does someone suggest Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots: The Movie? And then it actually gets made? And why o why could it not have been me? Its actually quite an awful preview with Hugh Jackman mugging for the camera when he isn't chewing scenery like he hasn't eaten in weeks.

Fast Five - What could one add to the flashy overdrive action franchise that is the Fast and the Furious movies? How about Dwayne Johnson. Because beyond bringing together just about every major character from the whole series that is all this movie seems to be doing. But again, Jordanna Brewster is also very nice to look at:



Kill the Irishman - In a film that will no doubt play well with my brother, the much hyped Irish-Italian feud gets another big screen showing. Playing the role of the titular hero/anti-hero is Ray "Punisher #3" Stevenson. The trailer doesn't really do anything exciting. In fact it seems to hit every cliche note I would expect in a Irish Mob vs. Italian Mob movie.