Of all the movies I thought that I would be seeing when I went to see War, the one I got was a bit of a surprise. If you've seen the trailer you probably immediately decided this was a film to skip. Unless you are like me who watches films sometimes merely to be in the theater. Admittedly I on occasion like a mindless martial arts film. This one could have standed to be a bit more mindless. When I go see a movie starring Jet Li and Jason Statham I expect to see something like all those old Jean Claude Van Damme movies not the worst adaptation of Yojimbo I have ever seen.
I actually started to pay attention about half an hour into the film and realized I was just watching yet another rehash of a Kurosowa film. You know Hollywood has gotten lazy when it resorts to not just remaking films already made but remaking films that were remakes of films that were remakes of films already made. Yojimbo was a good movie. Sergio Leone's reimagining into A Fistful of Dollars was a good film. In all honesty I like it better because the old west has more appeal as a subject matter perhaps because I grew up on John Wayne and Clint Eastwood.
Then there was Last Man Standing a travesty of a film starring Bruce Willis and Christopher Walken and really you have to try to make a film starring Bruce Willis and Christopher Walken a travesty. And now we have War. The worst adaptation to date.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Nannies, teen comedies and buddy cop movies
I'm always disappointed when I see a movie and it doesn't inspire me to write something. Bad movies make me want to rant, good movies make me want to rant. Movies such as The Nanny Diaries, Superbad and Rush Hour 3 inspired nothing. Superbad had its moments but wasn't terribly funny. Rush Hour 3 was well bad, but I accepted that going in and only saw it out of some bizarre completionist notion. If you are wondering why I saw Nanny Diaries well all I can say is I once set a goal to see every Scarlett Johansson film. May I suggest never setting such a goal as she just isn't that impressive of an actress. Here's hoping the next film I see inspires me.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy
All summer long the fantastic independent theater here in Durham was closed for renovations. This is the theater that permitted me to see Aliens and Day of the Dead. Now it is back open and I have gotten an email informing me of some upcoming films and events.
- STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN
- TRON
- THE MONSTER SQUAD Cast Reunion
Monday, August 13, 2007
Stardust
In any given year I see a great deal of movies. I have averaged about 75 movies in the theater for several years now. In addition I rent many movies, watch dvds I own and even when cable is made available to me watch movies on tv. Now as you can imagine that means I see a lot of crap. Nothing can explain why in good conscience I paid to see Hot Rod as a recent example. And once there was the horrendous night I watched Mission to Mars and Reindeer Games, one after the other. Gary Sinise, if you are reading I expect compensation for that slow torture.
Oh, I've had my fair share of rewards as well. Children of Men and Brick were both fantastic to watch. Bourne Ultimatum recently had me smiling from ear to ear. But rarer than that is a movie that I am truly and genuinely floored by. Now these movies don't come every year (sad to say). These are also movies that are not necessarily the most proficient films out there. At times they are even disappointing to me on a second viewing. I can't explain it, maybe its something about the atmosphere of a darkened auditorium and the general joy I get from movies that combine for a truly heart pleasing experience.
Now the reason I am ranting in such a way is because I had such an experience last night, made all the more memorable by the fact that I watched Becoming Jane afterwards. But the second movie actually didn't have any influence on what I thought of the first because I was already thinking about what I wanted to say about Stardust as I drove to the next theater which was on the other side of town (I even got stuck in construction traffic which gave me lots of time to think). Stardust is a movie that caused a rare reaction in me. Where I walk out of the theater and seriously consider purchasing another ticket to watch it again. I'm even considering going back to the theater tonight.
Critics have called Stardust genre defying which I think is just daft. Its a fairy tale. That is its genre. As such the things you would expect, it has. Wicked witch? Check. Evil nemesis? Check. Dashing pirate? Check (sort of, we will get back to that). Beautiful damsel in distress? Check. Dashing hero? Check. What to me makes fairytale subjects such great movies is that you can endlessly tell variations on the same theme. Kind of like jazz (or at least as I understand jazz, apologies to jazz lovers who think I have horribly misrepresented that genre of music).
Synopsis, short and sweet. Tristran (Charlie Cox) is a boy who works in a shop and who pines for the shallow Victoria (Sienna Miller) who thinks he is a shop boy (yes there is a difference between a shop boy and a boy who works in a shop). Tristran promises her he will bring her a fallen star for her love and off he sets to a magical kingdom. There he meets Yvaine (Claire Danes), the star and they journey back to his village. But an evil witch, Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer) and nefarious prince Septimus (Mark Strong) each want Yvaine for their own purposes. Along the way Tristran and Yvaine run across Shakespeare (DeNiro) as a gruff and tough pirate who happens to be secretly a gay cross dresser.
Now there isn't any question as to how this film will turn out and in truth if you have slightly more than a passing knowledge of fairy tales you can pretty much plot out the major things that have to be accomplished in this film. But all that is irrelevant because what makes a fairy tale good is not its unique storyline but rather how it plays on those age old themes. Maybe another reason fairy tales are so good is because they are black and white and good always triumphs (and especially love). Of course we live in world where very little is black and white (despite what the president says). I could list off tens of reasons why fairy tales are great almost all no doubt would sound like sappy half answers to some. So lets get back to Stardust.
The performances are all proficient if not spectacular. DeNiro seems to be having a field day with his character and you can't help but have a good time when he is on screen. Danes is beautiful and quick witted (having that beauty with a bite that I love so well in my screen actresses (the very reason no one will ever be able to tell me Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You wasn't brilliant)). Ricky Gervais' role is hysterical as a slimy salesman. Pfeiffer revels in her wicked witch as you would expect. Of course none of that would matter if the leads didn't shine (no pun intended there since at times Danes does actually shine in the film). Cox and Danes have great chemistry.
Even knowing deep down how it would end, the film pulled me in. Thus I was anxious when the leads were in danger and happy when the pair are reunited. To sum up this film in a word, I would say 'charming'. It turned what was an average day into a truly pleasant day. Which is why Stardust may not be the best movie of the year, but it is my favorite movie of the year.
Oh, I've had my fair share of rewards as well. Children of Men and Brick were both fantastic to watch. Bourne Ultimatum recently had me smiling from ear to ear. But rarer than that is a movie that I am truly and genuinely floored by. Now these movies don't come every year (sad to say). These are also movies that are not necessarily the most proficient films out there. At times they are even disappointing to me on a second viewing. I can't explain it, maybe its something about the atmosphere of a darkened auditorium and the general joy I get from movies that combine for a truly heart pleasing experience.
Now the reason I am ranting in such a way is because I had such an experience last night, made all the more memorable by the fact that I watched Becoming Jane afterwards. But the second movie actually didn't have any influence on what I thought of the first because I was already thinking about what I wanted to say about Stardust as I drove to the next theater which was on the other side of town (I even got stuck in construction traffic which gave me lots of time to think). Stardust is a movie that caused a rare reaction in me. Where I walk out of the theater and seriously consider purchasing another ticket to watch it again. I'm even considering going back to the theater tonight.
Critics have called Stardust genre defying which I think is just daft. Its a fairy tale. That is its genre. As such the things you would expect, it has. Wicked witch? Check. Evil nemesis? Check. Dashing pirate? Check (sort of, we will get back to that). Beautiful damsel in distress? Check. Dashing hero? Check. What to me makes fairytale subjects such great movies is that you can endlessly tell variations on the same theme. Kind of like jazz (or at least as I understand jazz, apologies to jazz lovers who think I have horribly misrepresented that genre of music).
Synopsis, short and sweet. Tristran (Charlie Cox) is a boy who works in a shop and who pines for the shallow Victoria (Sienna Miller) who thinks he is a shop boy (yes there is a difference between a shop boy and a boy who works in a shop). Tristran promises her he will bring her a fallen star for her love and off he sets to a magical kingdom. There he meets Yvaine (Claire Danes), the star and they journey back to his village. But an evil witch, Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer) and nefarious prince Septimus (Mark Strong) each want Yvaine for their own purposes. Along the way Tristran and Yvaine run across Shakespeare (DeNiro) as a gruff and tough pirate who happens to be secretly a gay cross dresser.
Now there isn't any question as to how this film will turn out and in truth if you have slightly more than a passing knowledge of fairy tales you can pretty much plot out the major things that have to be accomplished in this film. But all that is irrelevant because what makes a fairy tale good is not its unique storyline but rather how it plays on those age old themes. Maybe another reason fairy tales are so good is because they are black and white and good always triumphs (and especially love). Of course we live in world where very little is black and white (despite what the president says). I could list off tens of reasons why fairy tales are great almost all no doubt would sound like sappy half answers to some. So lets get back to Stardust.
The performances are all proficient if not spectacular. DeNiro seems to be having a field day with his character and you can't help but have a good time when he is on screen. Danes is beautiful and quick witted (having that beauty with a bite that I love so well in my screen actresses (the very reason no one will ever be able to tell me Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You wasn't brilliant)). Ricky Gervais' role is hysterical as a slimy salesman. Pfeiffer revels in her wicked witch as you would expect. Of course none of that would matter if the leads didn't shine (no pun intended there since at times Danes does actually shine in the film). Cox and Danes have great chemistry.
Even knowing deep down how it would end, the film pulled me in. Thus I was anxious when the leads were in danger and happy when the pair are reunited. To sum up this film in a word, I would say 'charming'. It turned what was an average day into a truly pleasant day. Which is why Stardust may not be the best movie of the year, but it is my favorite movie of the year.
Becoming Jane
As a fan of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (both the book and the most recent adaptation into a movie), I held low key hopes for the fictionalized accounting of her life. Not that the preview was particularly astounding. But it did star the beautiful Anne Hathaway and up and coming James McAvoy who was quite accomplished in The Last King of Scotland. As I said the movie is a fictionalized accounting of Austen's life of which we know very little (or so I am told). The film follows the Shakespeare In Love formula by depicting events as being the real life motivation for characters and actions in her novels.
The problem is that this film doesn't make Jane Austen or her characters more interesting. If in fact her plots were just taken from her life and the characters she met then that takes away from Austen's talent and it makes a character like Elizabeth Bennet...well not creative at all. The script seems to adhere to the adage "write what you know" which I think should get the reaction from writers that "if you can't do, teach" gets from teachers. Outrage, pure and unadulterated outrage that what they do could be dismissed as merely something they can do because they have experienced it which if were true would mean anyone in the world could be a writer.
But beyond what the movie is saying about the real Jane Austen, the character in the movie is about as poorly developed as the information we have on the real Austen's life. We have no sense of why she writes, her relationship with her family is barely fleshed out and her motivation for falling for LeFroy (McAvoy) is a downright mystery. The film stumbles over itself trying to get to an end which can satisfy the requirement that of course Austen remained single for her short life. It may satisfy that requirement but it doesn't satisfy as an ending or a film.
The problem is that this film doesn't make Jane Austen or her characters more interesting. If in fact her plots were just taken from her life and the characters she met then that takes away from Austen's talent and it makes a character like Elizabeth Bennet...well not creative at all. The script seems to adhere to the adage "write what you know" which I think should get the reaction from writers that "if you can't do, teach" gets from teachers. Outrage, pure and unadulterated outrage that what they do could be dismissed as merely something they can do because they have experienced it which if were true would mean anyone in the world could be a writer.
But beyond what the movie is saying about the real Jane Austen, the character in the movie is about as poorly developed as the information we have on the real Austen's life. We have no sense of why she writes, her relationship with her family is barely fleshed out and her motivation for falling for LeFroy (McAvoy) is a downright mystery. The film stumbles over itself trying to get to an end which can satisfy the requirement that of course Austen remained single for her short life. It may satisfy that requirement but it doesn't satisfy as an ending or a film.
Friday, August 10, 2007
A War You Won't Believe
No this is not a rant about Iraq. This is a review of 1982 classic Sly vehicle First Blood. Some might question how in good conscience I could watch in the same night Butch Cassidy and First Blood. Well it was late, and I wanted something short and mindless with lots of action. Some might question how I can in good conscience be so critical of a film like Live Free or Die Hard and yet openly praise a film like First Blood.
But First Blood doesn't get complex. Its setup is barely longer than the opening credits. Stallone plays John Rambo, Vietnam vet passing through a small town in the Pacific Northwest. Brian Dennehy plays Will Teasle, local sheriff who doesn't like Rambo's look and helps him pass quickly through town. Rambo doesn't like being pushed or told what he can't do, he's quickly arrested and abused by one of the deputies. Rambo cracks, escapes the police and a manhunt begins. That's it. There isn't much more to it than that. You can empathize with Rambo but you understand the police response. It isn't complicated, it might not be believable but it isn't complicated.
Once they action starts it keeps a good pace throughout the film. And amazingly its an action film that only has one death which is only partly Rambo's fault. It falters a bit in the end and is really strained by Stallone's monologue but overall I find it is a sound action film. Overshadowed by the more ostentatious and less satisfying sequels (and another one on the way), First Blood is admirable. Anytime I want a short fun action film, I'm glad this one is in my collection.
But First Blood doesn't get complex. Its setup is barely longer than the opening credits. Stallone plays John Rambo, Vietnam vet passing through a small town in the Pacific Northwest. Brian Dennehy plays Will Teasle, local sheriff who doesn't like Rambo's look and helps him pass quickly through town. Rambo doesn't like being pushed or told what he can't do, he's quickly arrested and abused by one of the deputies. Rambo cracks, escapes the police and a manhunt begins. That's it. There isn't much more to it than that. You can empathize with Rambo but you understand the police response. It isn't complicated, it might not be believable but it isn't complicated.
Once they action starts it keeps a good pace throughout the film. And amazingly its an action film that only has one death which is only partly Rambo's fault. It falters a bit in the end and is really strained by Stallone's monologue but overall I find it is a sound action film. Overshadowed by the more ostentatious and less satisfying sequels (and another one on the way), First Blood is admirable. Anytime I want a short fun action film, I'm glad this one is in my collection.
An Academy Runner-Up
In 1970 at the Academy Awards Midnight Cowboy took home the award for best picture. It has been a while since I've seen that film but my recollection of it makes me think the Academy did a fine job in their choice. I re-watched fellow nominee Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. It is bizarre to watch a movie that was rewarded and loved and realize that it was almost universally panned by critics when it was released. It kind of makes you wonder about being a critic.
I'm not a historian of film. I can't tell you if this movie represented a milestone in film making. I'm not terribly attuned to style. I can't tell you if they way it was edited and shot was revolutionary. I'm just an idiot who likes to see movies good and bad. And I think this is one of the good ones. Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) leads the Hole in the Wall Gang. He robs banks and trains and is followed by his friend The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford). Times are getting tough. Butch is getting older, his gang isn't as obedient any more. Banks are getting harder to rob and he is bringing more attention to himself. Butch is thinking about getting out accompanied by his faithful friend.
When a super posse is hired to track Butch and Sundance down, the two decide wisely to get out of town and wind up in Bolivia. In Bolivia, the adage old habits die hard is proven when Butch and Sundance take up their old trade of bank robbing, now assisted by Sundance's girl Etta Place (Katharine Ross). The ending is pretty iconic and probably known to any reader but I still feel guilty about spoilers.
What to say about this film? There are some unusual choices in the film, such as a music montage of black and white pictures showing Butch, Sundance and Etta traveling to Bolivia. In fact music montages abound in this film. It grew on me by the end it felt like an homage to silent film. Of course the film is about Butch and Sundance. They are two friends we don't have much back story on. In fact both readily admit they don't know much about each other at all. Butch is shocked to learn Sundance is from New Jersey and an early scene in the movie shows that they didn't know each others' real names.
But you don't really need to know anything about their back story and they don't need to really know anything about their back stories. You see they are friends and you just inherently understand, you say "yeah that makes sense" even if you can't say why it makes sense. The chemistry between Newman and Redford just works. Katharine Ross as Etta stands as a bizarre third in the relationship, romantically involved with Sundance but connected to Butch as well. If you think its easy to balance a relationship in a movie between three people without a hint of jealousy on anyone's part, then go watch some hack film like Pearl Harbor and explain why it couldn't happen there?
Suffice to say that the duo of Newman and Redford occasionally joined by Ross is stellar. Hell, its worth the price of admission...or netflix queue or DVD purchase or illegal download or however you get to view the movies you watch. But in addition to that there is also a great chase. Early in the film the super posse pursues Butch and Sundance after a job. The chase lasts some twenty five minutes of screen time. And what's amazing about the whole thing is that the pursuers are never more than blurry indistinct riders on the horizon. Yet it creates an relentless urgency. And never once do these two anti heros say enough is enough. They never choose a place to stand. They keep running.
The scene climaxes in one of the most famous lines in movie history. As the two stand cornered at the edge of a canyon, Butch turns and says "Kid, the next time I say, 'let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace like Bolivia." The duo eventually makes it to Bolivia and some humor is brought out of the language barrier. And these are the reasons this movie is so memorable. It has antiheros you like who are funny and serious. It has tender moments and tense ones and characters who aren't afraid to admit they are afraid.
I won't say its the greatest film ever made, I won't say its the best Newman or Redford performance. But I'm glad I own the DVD and I'm glad I re-watched it.
I'm not a historian of film. I can't tell you if this movie represented a milestone in film making. I'm not terribly attuned to style. I can't tell you if they way it was edited and shot was revolutionary. I'm just an idiot who likes to see movies good and bad. And I think this is one of the good ones. Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) leads the Hole in the Wall Gang. He robs banks and trains and is followed by his friend The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford). Times are getting tough. Butch is getting older, his gang isn't as obedient any more. Banks are getting harder to rob and he is bringing more attention to himself. Butch is thinking about getting out accompanied by his faithful friend.
When a super posse is hired to track Butch and Sundance down, the two decide wisely to get out of town and wind up in Bolivia. In Bolivia, the adage old habits die hard is proven when Butch and Sundance take up their old trade of bank robbing, now assisted by Sundance's girl Etta Place (Katharine Ross). The ending is pretty iconic and probably known to any reader but I still feel guilty about spoilers.
What to say about this film? There are some unusual choices in the film, such as a music montage of black and white pictures showing Butch, Sundance and Etta traveling to Bolivia. In fact music montages abound in this film. It grew on me by the end it felt like an homage to silent film. Of course the film is about Butch and Sundance. They are two friends we don't have much back story on. In fact both readily admit they don't know much about each other at all. Butch is shocked to learn Sundance is from New Jersey and an early scene in the movie shows that they didn't know each others' real names.
But you don't really need to know anything about their back story and they don't need to really know anything about their back stories. You see they are friends and you just inherently understand, you say "yeah that makes sense" even if you can't say why it makes sense. The chemistry between Newman and Redford just works. Katharine Ross as Etta stands as a bizarre third in the relationship, romantically involved with Sundance but connected to Butch as well. If you think its easy to balance a relationship in a movie between three people without a hint of jealousy on anyone's part, then go watch some hack film like Pearl Harbor and explain why it couldn't happen there?
Suffice to say that the duo of Newman and Redford occasionally joined by Ross is stellar. Hell, its worth the price of admission...or netflix queue or DVD purchase or illegal download or however you get to view the movies you watch. But in addition to that there is also a great chase. Early in the film the super posse pursues Butch and Sundance after a job. The chase lasts some twenty five minutes of screen time. And what's amazing about the whole thing is that the pursuers are never more than blurry indistinct riders on the horizon. Yet it creates an relentless urgency. And never once do these two anti heros say enough is enough. They never choose a place to stand. They keep running.
The scene climaxes in one of the most famous lines in movie history. As the two stand cornered at the edge of a canyon, Butch turns and says "Kid, the next time I say, 'let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace like Bolivia." The duo eventually makes it to Bolivia and some humor is brought out of the language barrier. And these are the reasons this movie is so memorable. It has antiheros you like who are funny and serious. It has tender moments and tense ones and characters who aren't afraid to admit they are afraid.
I won't say its the greatest film ever made, I won't say its the best Newman or Redford performance. But I'm glad I own the DVD and I'm glad I re-watched it.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Coming Soon
I was starring at my tv watching some mindless show last night and as I glanced to either side of my tv at my beloved dvd collection I realized something. I spent a good deal of money on this over the years and it has literally been years since I watched some of these movies. In fact I'm pretty sure that a few of these I have never watched on dvd but I bought it knowing I wanted to own it. So over the next few months I'll be rewatching my collection and then making comments on this blog. Do I still like the movie? Do I regret purchasing the dvd? Did I have to remove the packaging before putting it in the dvd player? Did the dust on the cover cause me to sneeze? Stay tuned for the answer.
Sunshine
Sometimes it can be hard to remember that Science Fiction as a genre can be well done or at least not terribly done. You get caught up in the horrible crap that was say the most recent Star Wars films and you think well this genre really isn't worth staying around. Its sad to say that after my recent viewing of all six films I have firmly decided that Star Wars in all its forms has been ruined. I can still get through the original films but as a friend of mine said all I can see is the flaws. But it isn't just Lucas who is ruining science fiction. Effects laden creature features such as Alien vs. Predator are doing their fare share.
Now I'm sure someone could counter that there is plenty of good science fiction out there and then proceed to list off many an indy movie or foreign film but if it isn't at my local multiplex chances are I am not seeing it. Which is why Sunshine is such a pleasant surprise. It isn't a perfect film by any means but it gets the job done. Its entertaining and generally smart about itself.
In Sunshine, the Sun is dying and therefore Earth is dying. A team was sent on a mission to restart the sun but was lost and now a second team is being sent as the last hope of all mankind. The team consisting of various scientists and pilots must make a crucial decision upon nearing the sun when they discover the previous mission's ship floating in space. How they go about deciding to investigate is rational and smart. The results of that decision play out for the rest of the movie.
Although the film turns down a path I think is a tad on the cheap side, it still manages to jog into the finish line on its strong start. I've heard plenty of criticism about it being cliched or copying from other movies which I find to be lacking in any real criticism what so ever. This film has decent effects, decent actors and a decent story line. Not a perfect film but miles ahead of the competition if its competing against say Revenge of the Sith.
Now I'm sure someone could counter that there is plenty of good science fiction out there and then proceed to list off many an indy movie or foreign film but if it isn't at my local multiplex chances are I am not seeing it. Which is why Sunshine is such a pleasant surprise. It isn't a perfect film by any means but it gets the job done. Its entertaining and generally smart about itself.
In Sunshine, the Sun is dying and therefore Earth is dying. A team was sent on a mission to restart the sun but was lost and now a second team is being sent as the last hope of all mankind. The team consisting of various scientists and pilots must make a crucial decision upon nearing the sun when they discover the previous mission's ship floating in space. How they go about deciding to investigate is rational and smart. The results of that decision play out for the rest of the movie.
Although the film turns down a path I think is a tad on the cheap side, it still manages to jog into the finish line on its strong start. I've heard plenty of criticism about it being cliched or copying from other movies which I find to be lacking in any real criticism what so ever. This film has decent effects, decent actors and a decent story line. Not a perfect film but miles ahead of the competition if its competing against say Revenge of the Sith.
Hot Rod
If you ever wondered why does the movie idiot go to see movies he knows he will hate? You are not alone. I've wondered this for years. Take Hot Rod for example. This is the new comedy (if one is generous) by Adam Samberg. He, if you are unaware, was brought on to SNL apparently on the popularity of some internet comedy bits he did with friends. I've seen a few of these style bits on SNL of late. Highly surreal, bizarre humor such as guys having a conversation while eating heads of lettuce or a bizarre shootout. Seriously lacking in the funny department if you ask me. I always feel like they were aiming for the Steve Buscemi short a few years back where he played a food pawn shop owner.
I'm getting off topic here. I don't find Adam Samberg funny, yet did it stop me from plopping down six bucks to see him lead in a comedy? No? I think I'm a glutton for punishment. Although Isla Fisher was cute but not cute enough to suffer through this film. Ian McShane was and always is the highlight but I didn't go to see him either. I think I go to films this bad because I hope secretly that somehow my preconceived notions will be wrong and I will actually enjoy the film. Believe it or not this has happened on occasion. But whatever my reasons for going, I can only hope my suffering serves as a warning to others.
I'm getting off topic here. I don't find Adam Samberg funny, yet did it stop me from plopping down six bucks to see him lead in a comedy? No? I think I'm a glutton for punishment. Although Isla Fisher was cute but not cute enough to suffer through this film. Ian McShane was and always is the highlight but I didn't go to see him either. I think I go to films this bad because I hope secretly that somehow my preconceived notions will be wrong and I will actually enjoy the film. Believe it or not this has happened on occasion. But whatever my reasons for going, I can only hope my suffering serves as a warning to others.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Transformers
I'm not going to sit here and try to come up with some elaborate justification of why Transformers is a good movie. In fact, I'll do just the opposite. It is a terrible movie. It's overly long, has a poor sense of pacing, the acting is well not really acting. The human element? Oh it made me want to gouge out my eyes with my own fingernails. I've seen Michael Bay talk, he is genuinely convinced he is a decent film maker. This astounds me. But despite how truly bad this film was there is the little kid in me. The little kid who owned and played with transformers. The little kid who watched hours of the old cartoon show. The little kid who delighted in the Transformers animated movie. That little kid was gleeful every single time he heard Peter Cullen utter a line in this movie (they got the original Optimus Prime!). Evey time a machine transformed and fought, pure joy in my eyes. This is the only reason I could stand this movie and the only thing I can recommend about it. If you loved transformers as a kid, there is a good chance you can stomach this film just for the joy of seeing those robots in disguise in cgi rendered realism.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
1408
1408 is the latest victim of the tete-a-tete that is Cinematic Arena for your reading pleasure.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Evan Almighty
Remember that movie a while back starring that no talent hack, Jim Carrey who gets the power of god and then realizes how tough it is to be god and learns a sappy religious lesson? It had a small role for Steve Carrell as a jack ass who gets his just desserts from Jim. Well now the jackass is a likable guy who has just been elected to congress, so God asks him to build an ark and now we are subjected to an even sappier religious lesson. This was a nauseating unfunny film. It barely even makes sense. Run from Evan Almighty as if it were one of the fabled ten plagues from the bible (I suspect it actually is).
Friday, June 15, 2007
Fantastically terrible
I want to write as few words as possible to express how much I disliked the new Fantastic Four movie. It has a poorly plotted story with terrible pacing, uninteresting villains, lackluster action sequences, an unsubtle lesson to learn and horrible acting. I had the most fun watching Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) and he was a wooden one dimensional cocky guy who learns the importance of teamwork and family. Which should tell you he wasn't that interesting. Here's hoping this was the first and last sequel.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Teil Zwei
Did anyone see the trailer for Hostel 2. The voice over was all in German. It was bizarre and inexplicable and made me think "what in the name of all is wrong with Eli Roth?" Well, if you are curious as to what Hostel 2 the movie is like, it's bizarre, inexplicable and made me think "what in the name of all is wrong with Eli Roth?" I can probably safely assume the only one who might see this movie is Brad so I won't feel bad about spoilers.
Does anyone even remember Hostel? It followed backpacking male friends who travel to eastern Europe and stay at a hostel where they are essentially provided with free hot prostitutes. Unfortunately for them, it is also a hostel that kidnaps its visitors and allows rich people to torture and kill them. There was gruesome scenes of torture and death and one of the three backpackers manages to escape and kill several of his nemeses. It was exploitive and gruesome and I told myself I would not watch the sequel when they announced it was in production.
So, of course, here I am having seen the sequel. The film picks up with the previous film's hero who now is haunted by his experience and paranoid for his life. In good fashion, he is quickly iced and we move back to Europe to a new cadre of young people. This time we get three women who are convinced to go to a spa in Slovakia. The film attempts to delve deeper into things by showing more of the business end. We see the process of selection and bidding which people from all over the world participate in with the hope of getting to kill and torture. Two American men win two of the girls and head out to participate. They are first timers. One is gung-ho and the other reluctant. Stay with me now, I'm sure this will be important. We also learn that one of the girls (clearly the lead role) is uber rich. (hmm, I wonder if that will be significant?) The girls are taken and the torture begins.
If I had to compliment Eli Roth, I would say he has a lot of style. He also knows how to make an exploitation film. Oh and he is one sick individual. He seems to make these films to discover the creepiest way to kill someone. Is it cathartic? I hope he exercises demons by doing this because otherwise he's just one step from being a weird serial killer. This film gives us a woman who likes to bathe in a shower of blood, a man who eats raw flesh like a steak and plenty of other disgusting scenes.
The gung-ho guy of course chickens out before the actually killing and the reluctant guy becomes psychotic in his lust to suddenly kill. He's also an idiot. When the inevitable turn comes and our heroine one ups the guy, a viewer who wasn't paying attention might think she would escape in similar fashion to the first film's hero. But you would be forgetting her massive bank account. These are business men. She BUYS her freedom and essentially becomes a new member.
If I ever suggest I might see Hostel 3 (I'm sure it will be made), someone please restrain me. Tell me I will regret wasting two hours. Tell me it will be cheap with a cheap end.
As a side note, Bijou Philips was in this film and didn't get naked. I actually was shocked. I thought she had it in her contract that she always got naked. Even if it wasn't supposed to be in the film. Maybe it was on the cutting room floor.
Does anyone even remember Hostel? It followed backpacking male friends who travel to eastern Europe and stay at a hostel where they are essentially provided with free hot prostitutes. Unfortunately for them, it is also a hostel that kidnaps its visitors and allows rich people to torture and kill them. There was gruesome scenes of torture and death and one of the three backpackers manages to escape and kill several of his nemeses. It was exploitive and gruesome and I told myself I would not watch the sequel when they announced it was in production.
So, of course, here I am having seen the sequel. The film picks up with the previous film's hero who now is haunted by his experience and paranoid for his life. In good fashion, he is quickly iced and we move back to Europe to a new cadre of young people. This time we get three women who are convinced to go to a spa in Slovakia. The film attempts to delve deeper into things by showing more of the business end. We see the process of selection and bidding which people from all over the world participate in with the hope of getting to kill and torture. Two American men win two of the girls and head out to participate. They are first timers. One is gung-ho and the other reluctant. Stay with me now, I'm sure this will be important. We also learn that one of the girls (clearly the lead role) is uber rich. (hmm, I wonder if that will be significant?) The girls are taken and the torture begins.
If I had to compliment Eli Roth, I would say he has a lot of style. He also knows how to make an exploitation film. Oh and he is one sick individual. He seems to make these films to discover the creepiest way to kill someone. Is it cathartic? I hope he exercises demons by doing this because otherwise he's just one step from being a weird serial killer. This film gives us a woman who likes to bathe in a shower of blood, a man who eats raw flesh like a steak and plenty of other disgusting scenes.
The gung-ho guy of course chickens out before the actually killing and the reluctant guy becomes psychotic in his lust to suddenly kill. He's also an idiot. When the inevitable turn comes and our heroine one ups the guy, a viewer who wasn't paying attention might think she would escape in similar fashion to the first film's hero. But you would be forgetting her massive bank account. These are business men. She BUYS her freedom and essentially becomes a new member.
If I ever suggest I might see Hostel 3 (I'm sure it will be made), someone please restrain me. Tell me I will regret wasting two hours. Tell me it will be cheap with a cheap end.
As a side note, Bijou Philips was in this film and didn't get naked. I actually was shocked. I thought she had it in her contract that she always got naked. Even if it wasn't supposed to be in the film. Maybe it was on the cutting room floor.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Michael Bay is trying to kill me
This has always been a movie blog. Movie reviews, strictly. I've tried to keep it that way. I probably shouldn't be writing this post. It is a slippery slope from movie reviews to obnoxious, here's how my day went fodder. But I justify myself in that it will still be about film, albeit short film. Summer is here, all my shows (whether you think they are good or not) are no longer airing new episodes. I'm left with a void I must fill with summer programming. One program that intrigued me from the start was On the Lot. A Fox reality show where they selected 50 aspiring directors and put them in a competition for a contract with Dreamworks. They whittled that fifty down to eighteen and then started having America (not the best judge of character, Spider-Man 3 made 150 million in one weekend) vote on who they liked best. Since they winner could one day have a movie reviewed on this very site, I've taken an interest (or so I keep telling myself).
Initially, the format was to show the filmmakers making their films and the struggles they had. Apparently that didn't test well, so the show went to an American Idol model of performance and results. They show the films of the directors, the judges make comments and then America gets to vote. The show has three judges who make comments for the directors after each film. There are two standard judges and a guest judge every week. The first standard is Carrie Fisher (yeah Princess Leia) who is billed as an actress and screenwriter (check IMDb for a rather sad writer's c.v.). Was she the only screenwriter they could get? Spielberg produces this show, he couldn't demand someone else? Scott Frank or Shane Black, I think would both be really good.
The second standard is Gary Marshall. Gary "Pretty Woman" Marshall. Okay, fair enough. Respected Hollywood icon, pretty successful, sure not the best director ever but is competent in the director's chair and makes Hollywood money. Guest judge for the first week was Brett Ratner (the man who took what Brian Singer brilliantly created (X-Men franchise) and toppled it in a single film (hell toppled it within the first half hour of that film). Things improved in the next week when the had D.J. Caruso, director of Disturbia on. His advice was actually useful and he seemed to know what he was talking about. Now lets take one step back.
Last night? Michael Bay. Michael "if movies were a religion, I would be the antichrist" Bay. Director of such disasters as Bad Boys, Armageddon, The Rock and Pearl Harbor. The host actually said the contestants hope to be a Michael Bay one day. I think any contestant who hopes that should immediately be dismissed from the competition. The three judges watched five 3 minute films last night. Carrie commented and Marshal commented, but I really don't care. Bay's comments are what are causing me to feel like I'm having an embolism.
Bay said to the first filmmaker, you need to make your movie tighter, work on editing. Let's just pause for a moment. Seriously. Just stop reading and think about that for like thirty seconds. I'll wait. .... Okay, ready? Michael Bay the man who had the interminably long Pearl Harbor which could have been cut down to five minutes and still would have been a bad film actually told another person he needs to work on editing?
Bay told another filmmaker that they needed to work on their dialogue. Again sit back read that last sentence again, think of a Michael Bay film and just realize how absurd that advice truly is. He directed a film in which the line "I take pleasure in guttin' you, boy" was uttered. He didn't stop and say wow is this dialogue bad. He just kept filming. Michael Bay telling people to write better dialogue, has the world gone crazy?
Bay told a third contestant his film felt like retread.
...
...
...
I just don't know what to say anymore. Enough of Mr. Bay.
Okay, the films:
Sam Friedlander directed Broken Pipe Dreams. Despite my rant above I had to agree with Mr. Bay (and you have no idea how physically ill that makes me). This film could have been shorter. It had a few too many drawn out shots. Other than that, it was a fantastic send up of the very films Bay loves to direct. I wonder if he knew Bay would be the guest judge because it was just too perfect. When the protagonist falls onto his knees at the end (I was reminded of Nick Cage in The Rock falling on the ground at the end). The red wire, blue wire gag was classic as well.
Trevor James directed Teri about a guy's irrational fears about what his blind date would look like. I found this film boring. The sappy end with the pretty girl (who could still be crazy, didn't anyone ever tell this guy not to judge a book by its cover?) was a poor end to a mediocre film.
Adam Stein directed Dough: The Musical. This is a musical about a bakery owner looking for love. I as a rule hate musicals but this was short, to the point and funny. The lyrics (with exception of a few awkward lyrics to make a rhyme) were fun and the story was good.
Hilary Graham directed The First Time I Met The Finkelsteins. This was a film in the My Big Fat Greek Wedding genre. Maybe it would be funny to someone who knows people like this or families like this. I just found it tedious and over the top and retread (note this was not the film that was called retread by Bay (that would be Trevor James' film).
Shalini Kantayya directed Laughing Out Loud: A Comic Journey. This was a documentary about a gay Indian (from India, not native American) comedian. I actually didn't know if this was a mockumentary or a real short documentary. I was under the impression that they were all to direct a comedy but maybe I was wrong. It was interesting but not funny.
Surprisingly for me I would have to say I enjoyed the musical by Stein the most. If for no other reason, this show has some decent short films every week, so I'll be watching despite the likes of Mr. Bay.
Initially, the format was to show the filmmakers making their films and the struggles they had. Apparently that didn't test well, so the show went to an American Idol model of performance and results. They show the films of the directors, the judges make comments and then America gets to vote. The show has three judges who make comments for the directors after each film. There are two standard judges and a guest judge every week. The first standard is Carrie Fisher (yeah Princess Leia) who is billed as an actress and screenwriter (check IMDb for a rather sad writer's c.v.). Was she the only screenwriter they could get? Spielberg produces this show, he couldn't demand someone else? Scott Frank or Shane Black, I think would both be really good.
The second standard is Gary Marshall. Gary "Pretty Woman" Marshall. Okay, fair enough. Respected Hollywood icon, pretty successful, sure not the best director ever but is competent in the director's chair and makes Hollywood money. Guest judge for the first week was Brett Ratner (the man who took what Brian Singer brilliantly created (X-Men franchise) and toppled it in a single film (hell toppled it within the first half hour of that film). Things improved in the next week when the had D.J. Caruso, director of Disturbia on. His advice was actually useful and he seemed to know what he was talking about. Now lets take one step back.
Last night? Michael Bay. Michael "if movies were a religion, I would be the antichrist" Bay. Director of such disasters as Bad Boys, Armageddon, The Rock and Pearl Harbor. The host actually said the contestants hope to be a Michael Bay one day. I think any contestant who hopes that should immediately be dismissed from the competition. The three judges watched five 3 minute films last night. Carrie commented and Marshal commented, but I really don't care. Bay's comments are what are causing me to feel like I'm having an embolism.
Bay said to the first filmmaker, you need to make your movie tighter, work on editing. Let's just pause for a moment. Seriously. Just stop reading and think about that for like thirty seconds. I'll wait. .... Okay, ready? Michael Bay the man who had the interminably long Pearl Harbor which could have been cut down to five minutes and still would have been a bad film actually told another person he needs to work on editing?
Bay told another filmmaker that they needed to work on their dialogue. Again sit back read that last sentence again, think of a Michael Bay film and just realize how absurd that advice truly is. He directed a film in which the line "I take pleasure in guttin' you, boy" was uttered. He didn't stop and say wow is this dialogue bad. He just kept filming. Michael Bay telling people to write better dialogue, has the world gone crazy?
Bay told a third contestant his film felt like retread.
...
...
...
I just don't know what to say anymore. Enough of Mr. Bay.
Okay, the films:
Sam Friedlander directed Broken Pipe Dreams. Despite my rant above I had to agree with Mr. Bay (and you have no idea how physically ill that makes me). This film could have been shorter. It had a few too many drawn out shots. Other than that, it was a fantastic send up of the very films Bay loves to direct. I wonder if he knew Bay would be the guest judge because it was just too perfect. When the protagonist falls onto his knees at the end (I was reminded of Nick Cage in The Rock falling on the ground at the end). The red wire, blue wire gag was classic as well.
Trevor James directed Teri about a guy's irrational fears about what his blind date would look like. I found this film boring. The sappy end with the pretty girl (who could still be crazy, didn't anyone ever tell this guy not to judge a book by its cover?) was a poor end to a mediocre film.
Adam Stein directed Dough: The Musical. This is a musical about a bakery owner looking for love. I as a rule hate musicals but this was short, to the point and funny. The lyrics (with exception of a few awkward lyrics to make a rhyme) were fun and the story was good.
Hilary Graham directed The First Time I Met The Finkelsteins. This was a film in the My Big Fat Greek Wedding genre. Maybe it would be funny to someone who knows people like this or families like this. I just found it tedious and over the top and retread (note this was not the film that was called retread by Bay (that would be Trevor James' film).
Shalini Kantayya directed Laughing Out Loud: A Comic Journey. This was a documentary about a gay Indian (from India, not native American) comedian. I actually didn't know if this was a mockumentary or a real short documentary. I was under the impression that they were all to direct a comedy but maybe I was wrong. It was interesting but not funny.
Surprisingly for me I would have to say I enjoyed the musical by Stein the most. If for no other reason, this show has some decent short films every week, so I'll be watching despite the likes of Mr. Bay.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Knocked Up
If you are really interested in reading my Knocked Up review, you will have to travel over to Cinematic Arena to view it there, as it was the inaugural film of that blog.
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