Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Zombie Strippers

I found out there was a movie called Zombie Strippers one day while looking at the local cinema offerings. I did a quick online search and discovered it starred Robert Englund (i.e. Freddy Krueger) and Jenna Jameson (one time queen of porn) and that was all I needed to decide this was a movie that I had to see if for no other reason than to say I had. But loving movies about zombies didn't hurt either. What I got was either shear genius or one of the worst pieces of crap I've ever seen. And I still can't decide which it is.

In George Bush's fourth term as president (apparently in this alt universe, there was a drastic altering to the constitution sometime between now and this November which allowed GW to get re-elected and then another amendment to allow Arnold Schwarzenegger to be his vice president) a company creates a virus that reanimates the dead apparently meant as a weapon of war. This virus causes women to gain super strength and retain the ability to talk as their flesh decays while men become mindless...well...zombies. A group of soldiers is brought in to wipe them out.

When a soldier who has been bitten escapes to a local strip club and bites a stripper then the plot really starts to unfold. Apparently zombie viruses make strippers way better at what they do. And apparently men prefer undead naked flesh over live nudes. Said zombie strippers (yes the movie does actually refer to them as that at least once) led by Jenna Jameson dance and then occasionally eat and convert a patron into a zombie. Eventually this will end with a zombie outbreak of course.

It must be said that Jameson looks kind of disturbing with her plastic face that actually improves slightly when she becomes a zombie. The acting is bad but I presume intentionally so. The plot as much as there is one moves forward in leaps after long periods of going nowhere. The opening bit gets us to zombie strippers. Then a long period of expected flesh baring followed by another leap forward in plot. So what in the world makes me think this film might be brilliant?

Well for one it has reduced the genre to its most basic elements and it gives plenty of that. Zombies? check. T and A? check. Gruesome zombie deaths? check. As for the comedy the most unintentionally funny (or intentionally?) thing is the dialog in which several character engage. There are numerous pseudo-intellectual rants quoting the likes of Nietzsche and Sartre. I myself probably laughed too much and too loudly near the end of the movie when two zombie strippers fight each other making rather disturbing but also humorous use of golf balls and billiards balls.

But I should say that despite having moments of truly inspired comedy there is also a lot of really wretched acting and trodding plot to deal with as well. Still in the end I was at least mildly happy that I had made the decision to see it.

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