Thursday, June 01, 2006

Making More Money For The WWE

See No Evil is a laughably bad vehicle for WWE wrestler Kane. The film starts with two cops going into a house and confronting a psychopath, who kills on of the two and maims the other. Fast forward and our one armed man is now a guard at a juvenile prison. He has gathered a motley crew of delinquents, whose crime we get to learn by a freeze frame and a scroll of text that identifies the name and crime. I assure you this has absolutely no purpose in the film. Then we get a similar roll call of women delinquents, who will be joining the men on this field trip.

The group arrives at an old abandoned hotel, which they will be cleaning up for three days as part of a deal to get reduced sentences. The doors of the hotel will be conveniently locked at night. How is that for a ridiculously idiotic set up? Don't worry we've got drug users and oversexed teenagers to boot. Once night falls, the teens go off and do some stupid stuff and the psychopath from the opening of the film (if you really thought he was dead, you really don't watch these kind of movies often or even once really) starts killing them one by one. Even for a slasher flick this film is uninspiring. The deaths are unoriginal and its little more than a slow plod to the inevitable conclusion.

We get sporadic flashbacks showing why the psycho is the way he is but I really didn't care and his disturbing fetish for women with religious tattoos was ridiculous. After a healthy body count and surprisingly only very mild nudity (let's face it, in a film like this you expect gratuitous nudity left and right) the film ends with a typical good guy triumph. I didn't think any film would make me think Saw (2004) was a good movie, but compared to this trash it was cinematic gold.

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