Saturday, March 15, 2008

10,000 BC

When watching a Roland Emerich movie, you can pretty much expect massive action sequences mainly constructed of CGI, absurdly reductionist plots focused on a world that has only good and evil and no gray zone and generally a story that is couched in the highly implausible which soon moves into the out right ridiculous. If you don't believe that just think about one of his big hits. Independence Day had a pretty absurd plot, aliens come to Earth seeking to destroy us (update on War of the Worlds, no problem). Plot is entirely geared towards getting all key players to one location for epic cathartic payback (sure fine whatever). Good guys (us) defeat bad guys (aliens) through use of computer virus and Apple computers technology against technologically advanced aliens...wait....what?

Well I assure 10,000 BC is just as absurd. Thousands of years ago among a tribe of hunter/gatherers who rely on the Woolly Mammoth for food, a blue eyed girl comes which forebodes a coming time of crisis for the tribe. Years later a group of marauding raiders come to the tribe and kidnap many of the able bodied men and women (including the blue eyed girl). D'Leh who loves said girl sets out with a handful of warriors to rescue her. Along the way they cross thousands of miles and mountains, jungles and deserts. Along the way an army of wayward warriors join him and see in him a savior who will deliver them from the master of these marauders.

The army eventually arrives at a desert location where massive pyramids are being built for a group who are called gods and are hinted as being either from outer space or Atlantis (or both) (This from the man who gave us Stargate hmmm...). Of course an inevitable confrontation will result in a great final action sequence. So as I said the plot is fairly absurd but whatever that was a given right?

So when does it get down right ridiculous? Well for starters, why given there clearly seems to be an endless supply of available labor near the building of the pyramids, do the marauders go thousands of miles out of their way into the mountains to kidnap the hunter gatherers? And how is it that the bad guys have an astronomical sextant? I guess that is the aliens/Atlantis connection. Throw in the same multi-cultural lets all team up together love fest that was seen in Independence Day and you have the makings of a very boring movie. Independence Day 2 - the Prequel.

1 comment:

rorylarry_critic said...

My dog, who has 3 legs and suffered mental-retardation causing asphyxia during birth could write a more informed opinion. Ohh, and do you even proofread?